ah! went to see doctor finally after being sick for 3days. running fever le i still dun noe. lol! sneezing like nobody's business. haha! de cause of my illness is, no enough rest~ had a chat wif geraldine today. i realised a lot of things. god is veri fair de. when he gives you something, he will take away something from you. he will never harm his child. he must have noe dat i will be able to go through de pain of losing X and den he will let me go through. although de pain is piercing, i've learnt to grow up. without those cryings, how would i be able to grow neh? geraldine asked me another question, do i hate X and his gf now ma? my answer is a straight NO! i dun blame de both of them neither do i hate de both of them. she asked me again, do i blame myself? my answer is yesh. i blame myself for not being a good gf. i blame myself for not fulfilling his expectations. lastly she asked me, if one day he wana comes back to my side, will i accept him again? my answer is i dun noe. unless he's able to prove to me dat he's worth my trust, or i will not accept him into my life again. i think by den there's gonna be another guy in my life le ba?! i jus hope dat i won't meet another guy like X le ba?! one is jus enough for me to bear le.
i'm sorry~
