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gregarious-me.
Sunday, September 14, 2008

early in de morning quarrelled wif my mum. jus dun understand why you can't put urself in my shoes? haven't you ever considered my feelings before shooting words out of ur mouth? you make me feel i'm damm freaking useless in dis family can? dad ever told me i'm de extra one in dis family. i broke down but i kept it inside. you made me realise my existence in dis family and now jus one word from you make me feel back to square one. am i realli de extra one in dis family? wat am i in dis family? you told me we could be like good friends, no secrets between us. but i felt more and more difficult sharing my problems wif you. instead, i felt more comfortable speaking to my friends. you are tired, i'm also. you came back after a whole day of work expecting me to understand den wat about me? i came back home after a whole day of school classes but i didn't expect you to understand. i jus wish to rest. i jus wish to come back to a place where i can rest comfortably but i felt pressured whenever i step into dis house coz there will be lots and lots of restrictions and rules i needa abide. haven't you realise i'm only a 17 years old kid? i hate wherever both of you compare me wif sis and bro. i realli hate dat. i did watever i can to prove my existence in dis family. i studied hard jus to receive a complement from you all, i did watever you all ask me to do coz i wana feel useful in dis family, i did more den wat i'm purposed to do jus hoping dat all can recognise me but end up i'm de insensible one in dis family. always anyhow spending money, de wilful one. am i realli such in kid in ur eyes? i had a fun day outside hoping to share wif you all when i reach home but non of you is expecting for it. instead, you didn't trust me. i had a sleepless night. am i always have to depend on you all? seriously, i jus wana be part of de family. dis had been my birthday wish every year but it had never come true. tell me, wat more else i have to do? i'm damm freaking sad now.

what we could have been, ★ JESS™@9:31 AM.


I am who I am.
IMG_2965 JESS is how my friends addresses me.
I'm current 19 in de year of 2010. :)
I fell in love with BLUE & ORANGE. :)
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